When everything is a mess!

I thought after summer, after battling with my deadly math, i could escape hell... but im wrong and im going deeper into it.

It all started with my simple thoughts of being left behind, of my what ifs and my expectations.

First my subjects, second my "home" and third, my battle with desperations.

My Subjects.. Luckily I did a concrete plan for the subjects I will take this semester and happily found out that i could finished it in one year. I thought I couldnt make it in a year so I already conditioned myself to at least 2-3 yrs of extension ( I hope not).

Everything went smooth;y until the day of enlistment. I got slots of some subjects i need to take and some were still hanging coz they needed a waiver for confirmation and my higher math which will be confirmed when im done with the other math.

summer was done and i passed my math. I told myself not ot fail again for me to make it  in a year .

Enrollment period. I found out that im waitlisted with my higher chem. Im waitlisted # 2 for the Lec and #1 for the lab. I told my teacher about the problem and she told me that she would fix the lectures and warned me that she may not extend the number of students for the lab.

My Physics subjects was ok since i already processed my waiver for me to take the subject.. luckily i got in and another problem is solved.

A while ago... I was in school to talk to my teacher about the chem subject I was worrying. She told me to look for my possible classmates in the lab and do some arrangements with them that if they could swap with me ( a section they opened for the lab, I could not enroll in its sched coz it has conflict with my other subject). I asked some possible classmates in the said subject and all of them wont make take it with their own reasons. As for now this isn't settled yet and im waiting for next week to fix this since enrollment is until 20 so i still got a big chence to get in.

"Home". This is in connection with my dormitory. Until this day we're still transients because our slots are not sure yet.  We will be waiting for a month to know if we could really make it there.  The dormitory is waiting for possible masters or PhDs who will be stayong at the dorm and thier number is what we are afraid of. Anyways, im not losing hope. I know I can get a slot.

Battle with my desperations. All of the things I mentioned above and some feelings of lonliness , despearations are making me mad, insane and i dont know! It drives me crazy. My thesis isn't finished yet and i think i could not make it this sem after all the subject I will take and my profs that would handle them. I dont know what to do. I think im dying. My friend told me "Its not even your life". I hope this is not part of my life and but it is and I have to live with it.

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